I went to a wedding and I was awake for
23 hours let’s just call it a day. I will not let the newlyweds forget this, because this shows my devotion to our friendship. Yes. You’re both stuck with an incredibly smug me. But. I’m not really the one able to take the moral high ground on it because the absolutely ethereal bride fully embraced my last-minute “I’m a vegetarian now” announcement, just one week before her wedding! I like to think Hannah got all bridezilla with the caterers “you will help save the cows, I don’t care if it’s too late to order less cows”, but deep down I know she probably floated into the room all serene and smiley and they melted as we did when she glided down the aisle.
The wedding was spectacular, it was, in essence, a perfect hybrid of the couple. In absolutely every detail. Including the food. It was as if they had given birth to a wedding. If the wedding had had a receding hairline, I genuinely would’ve thought it was their child.
Admittedly, temptation at the wedding was still high. Mini sausages and pepperoni pizza…are you trying to make me cry? Thankfully, as the bride is also a vegetarian, the cheese wasn’t off-limits, so I was safe there. Although how often they were discussed, I’m convinced the bowl of parsnip crisps should’ve been filled with salt and vinegar McCoy’s instead.
The food, however very important to my challenge this month, was not the highlight of the wedding. I was astounded by the couple’s ability to love, not just each other, which is no doubt a prerequisite for marriage, but their friends and family too. The party was full of real friendships and real family bonds. Not a single person appeared to be invited because you had to invite them – you know that aunty that always swears at you when she gets drunk, or the cousin that’s a bit of a drag. It just goes to show how big their hearts really are, to have invited a bunch of weirdos together to bond over our mutual liking and occasional hatred of, well Liam, not Hannah, we all like Hannah. Congratulations to you both on being not so grown up and more than a little odd, but mostly for cherishing everyone in your lives (even if you do stupidly compare your wife to a chest of drawers). I don’t need to wish you luck, happiness and frolicking in your new life together – you’re already there.