Let me set the scene for you. Work drinks, Soho London. I’m assuming you already see part of the problem. I don’t work in Soho. Heck, I hardly even work. But there were a few old friends going and it would be fun to catch up. Bar the odd person in hysterics at my general life choices, I wasn’t doing too bad. It was like riding a bike.
Then there were the girls. The drunk feminist (DF), who was considerably pushy with her opinions about the lack of women in the room…and also her protective friend (PF). I approach to say “Hi” whilst my friend is trying to help DF. My friend is a man. DF doesn’t like him being all chivalrous and “patronising”, she can call her own cab after all. Friend looks like bambi. He’s digging himself a hole. A big hole. This is amusing. You gotta laugh.
Or apparently not, ’cause this is the part where PF becomes a mean girl and apparently forgets how to whisper. She’s been dead eyeing me from the moment I said “Hi” but, whilst destroying my character and misinterpreting my laughter, she asks my friend to make me leave. Now, I can understand misinterpretations, they happen to the best of us. But…bitch, please. You asked and I already told you why I’m laughing “He’s not handling this very well” If you didn’t like my explanation. Speak to me. Don’t be getting this guy to do your dirty work, whilst slyly having a dig. DF would be highly disappointed in you needing a knight in shining armour and putting down your fellow woman at the same time.
Admittedly, the extra kick in the teeth was my friend obliging PF and shooing me to the other side of the room. Like, nah brah, not having that. I’m splitting. You guys are supposed to be the professionals. Learn to handle things better. Imma remove myself from this situation before you offend my chill.
Upsettingly though, these incidents are not few and far between. And it got me wondering. I used to think that gossip was an age thing, that we grew out of it at High School. Then later, I thought maybe it was a sheltered life thing, so maybe people grew out of it a little later, at University or in work. Now though, I’m struggling to see if girls ever stop being mean to each other.
Seemingly, gossip is inherent in the female gender, it’s everywhere. You’d think that to be a feminist you wouldn’t be a gossip. Not true. Many feminists online are adept at tearing down other women to validate their own opinions, to make a point, to climb the social ladder. Heck, I’m sure I’d do it for some free pizza. I’m starting to feel like gossip is holding back feminism, that if we can’t treat each other with respect and dignity, why do we expect the rest of the world to do it. So I got to researching and turned up some interesting and yet easy to read articles here and here, on feminism and gossiping.
Maybe we should put down the cat claws and have each others backs, be honest with our opinions, speak our minds. Give each other the opportunity to defend ourselves when we’ve pissed each other off. Applaud each other for being great, because we are, we all are.